The nurse walked in and 15 year of 2005 2020 Barca Lionel Messi thank you for the memories shirt my dad locked eyes with her “This is Deb. She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met and the only woman I’ve ever loved. I want to give her medical power of attorney. Get the papers. Hurry. Please. Get the papers.” Realizing that he hadn’t asked, he turned back to my mom “Please. I know I don’t deserve it, I know I’ve been horrible to you. I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry Deb. Please, I can’t, she won’t, I don’t. Please. I’m afraid and I don’t have anyone else I trust.” We stayed and talked to him for awhile, then I borrowed my mom’s iPad and went to the cafeteria to let them talk alone. We said goodbye that night and got on a plane home.
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My mom went back out, once a 15 year of 2005 2020 Barca Lionel Messi thank you for the memories shirt week, to check on him. That was the last time I saw my father, dead or alive. I didn’t go out for the funeral I didn’t really see the point. One of the monsters of my childhood was slain that day in the hospital. I could no longer summon hate, anger or fear for my father. I only had pity left. Pity for the man so afraid to face his demons that he lived a miserable life and died a lonely death. The fear my father inspires in me is much different now. I’m terrified of ending up like him. I will not regret my life because I was too afraid to live it.