First and Baby Yoda Christmas pocket shirt, sweater foremost, you do not turn up unexpectedly. I need at least an hours warning, preferably the day before to prepare my kids for guests. I have two kids, they both have autism. They love company and friends but also find it exhausting And stressful. They have some things which are precious, no-one can touch them, at all, under any circumstances. Things like that go to my room when we have guests. My room is also set up as a quiet, safe space for the kids when we have guests, soft lighting, music they like playing quietly, a few snacks, drinks (they often don’t eat/drink when they are stressed so this is a vital part for them) books to read and toys they like that help to calm them like putty.
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We love having you here, but sometimes the Baby Yoda Christmas pocket shirt, sweater noise, smells of perfume, soap powder, aftershave etc, and the socially expected stuff is just too much and they need somewhere they can go and calm themselves down for a bit. None of us feel like it’s fair to turf guests out of the girls’ room when they are probably happy playing, so this is the compromise. Oooh, I just realised I have one more rule. Don’t point out the things that my kids do that are “weird” in front of them. If you draw attention to it, it stressed them out, the more stressed they feel, the more they do it, then the more you tell them the more stressed they get and so it goes on. If you choose to come to my home, you accept us as we are, you don’t make my kids feel weird. If you choose to behave like that, you won’t be back.