By the time I realized I needed to Cactus can’t touch this shirt get him to the bathroom it was too late. While standing there stumbling through a story about one of our high school teachers he pissed himself. That’s when my jaw dropped. He didn’t show any signs of noticing, even as both legs of his khaki’s got more and more wet. How he couldn’t have noticed I had no idea. He continued to talk but I had no capacity to follow what he said. There was piss actually dripping from his crotch to the floor. Full streams coming out the bottoms of both pants legs. A puddle of shining wet on the floor growing underneath him. In my embarrassment I guided him out of the light from the hallway into a darker spot. I could smell his piss. He reached out and tried unsuccessfully to kiss me. He leaned on the wall then crumpled to the floor, his head slumped. I was faced with a very hard decision. Try to get him somewhere safe or leave him there and escape.
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I kneeled onto the floor and held his Cactus can’t touch this shirt face towards mine. He was seeing double. “I think I need to use the bathroom” he said with this big goofy grin on his face. His wet legs were spread out in front of him with his knees up. His head rolled back on the wall and his body seemed to relax. Then he farted. It was so loud I could could hear it over the music. Then he farted again but it was longer and more muffled. Instinctively I glanced to the crotch of his open legs and watched as the butt of his pants changed shape. I didn’t dare inhale through my nose.