The Official Depeche Mode fuck Corona shirt most awkward one was waking up with someone who was so wrong that we both are taking that secret to our grave that we got drunk, sloppy, and carnal together. I didn’t pass out during the blackout drunk because I was also on cocaine and possibly something else. She told me what we did and she was in a “Why the f^ck not?” level of drunk and buzzed. She did an easy-decision abortion you don’t want to know any more than that. The funniest one was when I woke up in my roommate’s room because he had a bigger bed, he was away with family, and the “wrong” person was a married couple. I had vague memories of the fun. The wife remembered the details. The “straight and not a swinger” husband freaked out. I asked why he was at that club. He intended on them picking up a woman.
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It was a Official Depeche Mode fuck Corona shirt late Friday morning, I’d slept in after a late night out. I was an unemployed teacher, newly divorced, no health insurance, fighting against admitting that the pains in my legs were sciatica due to ruptured discs that needed surgery. The plan was to get away for a few days, take my kayak up to Canada and go camping on a remote island. Think about life. Run a few rapids. Hike a little. Try to ignore the pain in my body, the emptiness in my soul, and the lack of a real future.